Monthly Archives June 2014

An act of the anti-hero is still heroic

10380756_10203062936508040_1275263766757345115_nI’ve been overwhelmed with a bout of depression and sadness lately. I can’t think of any particular event that triggered it, perhaps just a general ongoing feeling of disconnect with people and things that I thought would bring me joy. They haven’t.  Lately I’ve begun to wonder if I’m even capable of joy or if I am a melancholy personality.

Definition of melancholy: a feeling of pensive sadness, typically with no obvious cause.

The kicker is, when I am at home, alone I am often at my worst. They say who you are when you are alone is your true identity and I would say most days I can’t seem to go 20 minutes without breaking into tears and suffering from loneliness. The loneliness is the worst part. It haunts me everywhere I go, whispering to my soul how truly alone I am. I discovered it’s powerful villainous abilities this week when I attended the Phoenix Comicon. I was so excited. Each day I would wake up with anticipation and eagerness to put on a fun costume and be surrounded by people at play and artists and toys.

Then I would get there and the loneliness would attack. I would be swarmed, literally surrounded by thousands of people and I felt utterly alone...

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