Monthly Archives February 2014

‘Just throw it away’ – Don’t act, be real

75033_10202207090712430_2125242075_nI lost myself somewhere out there. I haven’t come to this place of writing publicly for a while because I didn’t feel like allowing the public in to this very dark part of my life. Not for fear of judgement, but for fear that I wouldn’t be left alone to deal with things the way I want to. There’s a hollowness where my core once thrived. I often get the urge to hide both literally and symbolically from the world around me. I met with a close friend who could tell quite easily that I am ‘fragile’ right now. I felt like that was too pretty of a term, too delicate and dainty. What I feel in me is a beast, a wild animal cloaked with a cape of darkness that is clawing out my innards scattering any guts or bravery or heart vessels that once pounded with raging love out on to the desert floor.

We all are capable of darkness just as much as we are capable of light. One cannot exist without the other, this is the divine dichotomy I’ve spoken of many times before. I have long understood how easy it is for one’s foothold to slip from one side of the cliff to the other and then off the edge in a matter of a few meager seconds when a couple of tiny pebbles get shaken loose...

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