Monthly Archives October 2013

Act a fool

Screen Shot 2013-10-13 at 6.02.18 PMBeing sick does a silly thing to you. At least it does to me. It makes me all weak and weepy and emotional. I found myself screaming at a little travel-size bottle of mouthwash yesterday in my car, after I couldn’t get the cap off. I was giving it hell about how it should just open because if it doesn’t open then I can’t use it and if I can’t use it then it has no purpose in life and if it has no purpose in life then it has no right to exist but it doesn’t care that it doesn’t have a right to exist because it is just a freaking tiny bottle of mouthwash and it doesn’t care about anything and wouldn’t that just be fan-freaking-funtastic to not care about anything. I almost had no voice by the time I was done telling it who was boss and expressing envy at not being a green, minty liquid instead of my fleshy self. True diva moment right there.

I care. I care a lot. About everything. I care too much. I wish I had an off switch. That was a joke in “How I Met Your Mother” the other day. Marshall couldn’t be there for Barney and Robin’s wedding so Lily made a life-size doll of him and he kept appearing with an iPad as his head. Whenever stuff would get awkward he would just shut off...

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